Disclaimer: Not the Rowling.

WARNING: Spamfic.


Original handwritten text (auror)

Margin notes (senior auror)

Footnotes (Unspeakable)




Case no...: [ 2012-0132 ]
Case lead: [ Senior Auror Roberts ]
Witness...: [ Lockhart, Gilderoy ]
Taken by.: [ Auror Weasley, H ]

NOTE: case passed to Department of Mysteries for analysis.

Oh! That’s a... a Dictaquill, yes? My memory’s getting much better now, you see; the healers say I should be able to leave in a few months. Still can’t remember a blessed thing about myself from before the accident, but things like quills, cups of tea, that sort of thing... they’re all coming back. So that’s something, eh?

Anyway, you want to know what happened yesterday. The staff were very excited you know; it isn’t often that we get a celebrity visitor here. And we patients were too — those of us that are aware enough were, anyway.

So we were all brushed up and dressed nicely, and the celebrity — sorry, can’t remember his name, maybe someone I used to know? Anyway, the celebrity was being very nice to us all, chatting with each person and finding out something about them. Then suddenly the ward doors burst open and a hooded figure in a red mask strode through. The man — I assume a man, from the voice more than anything else — the man fired some sort of curse from his wand. Sickly green it was, and it was headed straight for Mediwitch Joy.

Other witnesses confirm that the attacker fired the Killing Curse, and that the Mediwitch was the apparent target.

No, not the celebrity; I’m sure of it. Mediwitch Joy is one of my favourites, you know; she’s always had a kind word or an extra piece of cake for me. I think she might have known me... you know, before.

Anyway, I... I just couldn’t let that happen, you know? So I— I jumped in front of her. It seemed the only thing to do, at the time. And... and I felt it hit... numb all over...

Witnesses agree that the Killing Curse struck Lockhart, causing him to collapse.

...and I started to float away. And then... and then it felt as though thousands of strings were attached to me, pulling me back; and thousands of voices, all pleading, commanding, begging me not to leave. And I was back in my body, coughing. I think... I saw the attacker fall, bound in ropes... Incarcerous, isn’t it called? The spell? Aha! I knew it!

All witnesses state that Lockhart was unconscious for less than five seconds.

Well, anyway, Mediwitch Joy was all right, and everyone was very excited of course, what with the attack, and they all said I should have died or something...

I just had a thought! I’ve been reading lots of things recently, about magic, and the world, and the people in it — trying to learn enough to function outside the hospital again, you know — and I remember something about some primitive people believing that a camera could capture their soul. And Mediwitch Joy told me once that I was very famous, before the accident, and lots of people had photographs of me. And so I wondered, maybe they each held a tiny bit of my soul, and loved me so much that I had to stay? Do you think?

Witnesses note that Lockhart’s personality underwent a sudden ‘improvement’ after the incident, stating that he appeared to be “more like himself”. Awaiting results of a formal medical assessment of his condition.

Incident now under Code Rosa. Obliviation, injection of false memories, and substitution of altered reports and documentation complete.

Case assigned to Unspeakable ‘Gardener’. Suggested lines of investigation: effects of incident (if any) on extant photographs of subject Lockhart; effects if any on future production of photographs of subject; effects of repeated use of Wizarding photography on other subjects; any evidence of soul magic in Wizarding photographs (both extant and new of subject, and of others); comparison of life expectancy of celebrity vs. common magicals.

Investigation notes to be classified and restricted to the fifth circle.

File under keywords: Phylactery, Photograph, Papuan superstitions, Lazarus, Koschei the Deathless, Immortality, Horcrux.

Brought to you by