Mad Elf's Problem Page

Divine assistance...

Dear Mad Elf,

I am a God, but no one believes me. The problem is I have no immortal powers, I just am a God. So how I can prove it to anyone... please help me.

Mad Elf replies...

Don't despair! Your problem is really a very simple one. The reason you have no godlike powers is that you have no worshippers. Your powers will increase as more and more people worship you.

Notice I said "worship", not "believe in". That's very important. Belief will give you some power, but not much; actual worship is what does the trick. And it doesn't matter why you're being worshipped, either.

So the solution is simple. Forget the god business for a while and concentrate on becoming famous: a rock star, a great hero - a legend of some kind (what kind will depend on where and when you live). Get a decent following of adolescents (girls are best, but boys will do at a pinch). Once you have a fan club, the powers will start to flow and you can claim yourself a god. From then on, it's all ambrosia and thunderbolts.

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