Mad Elf's Problem Page

Twin paradox...

Hi Elf,

I'm an Ensign, I serve on the USS Ranger. I'm an Elaysian female, when I first arrived on board I had a one night stand with a human male ensign. Now I'm pregnant with twin girls. What do I do?

Onaya

Mad Elf replies...

You have no real problems. You are living in the wonderful, perfect Federation, remember? You'll have the best of medical care, you'll be able to keep your daughters by you as you work, and they'll never want for anything. So, regardless of what you choose, everything will work out perfectly. After all, no-one is discriminated against or stigmatised in the Federation, whatever their religion, sexual preference, or marital/parental status.

Not that you ever see many non-Christians, non-heterosexuals, or single parent families*...

Maybe you'd better conform before you disappear, too! You basically have two options: try to get the father to take responsibility, or find someone else.

Either of these would be feasible, although I have a feeling that your paramour may not want to settle down into a family situation. And you may not like the idea of an unrelated person being involved in bringing up your children. What you need is a way to get the <ahem> best of both worlds.

As you're probably aware, transporters can be used to duplicate people. There's the answer to your problems! Duplicate the children's father, then brainwash the duplicate into being the perfect family man. Everyone's happy: you get a relationship with the person you fancied back then, the kids have a father, and the actual father gets to live his life how he wants.

On the other hand, you may decide to go it alone, in which case I would suggest tuning up your paranoia, or perhaps leaving Starfleet for a less high-profile job, in the hope that the Normality Police will leave you alone.

* - Widows and orphans don't count. For more information, see here.

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