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My brother has disgraced the family...

Dear Mad Elf,

Here I am, trying to set up a dynasty of monster-hunters, when this comes along. While investigating some strange finds from an Egyptian tomb, my brother happened to tell me about some strange metal cylinders they had found. Having had experience with this particular variety of tentacled grotster, I gave him all the information I had on them in case he was to run into them on his excavation. So, tooled up with state-of-the-art firepower (including an eight-bore shotgun!), they go off on their dig; and lo and behold several of the fiends turn up. And what happens? He talks to them. Now what kind of example is that for the children? How are they supposed to learn the correct response* to tentacled, fungoid or fishy grey creatures if he goes around doing that sort of thing?

Yours in frustration,

Jennifer May Marley, PhD

* The correct response is of course to shred them in a hail of buckshot from the largest firearm available, or skewer them with cold steel, depending on the circumstances.

Mad Elf replies...

Don't worry about it, I see great things in your descendants' futures; including your son administering a severe twatting to Ygolonac (among others). As for brother Callum, I have a feeling he will uphold the family honour in future.

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