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Dear Mad Elf,
I don't know if there's any advice you can give me which might help, but I do hope so. I am at a loss as to what to do.
Last year, whilst I was attending an archaeological expedition in Egypt, in which I encountered for the second time those abominable Mi-go, I made the acquaintance of a young Persian gentleman of impeccable manners and charm. I have been living alone for the past eight years, and I must confess that from time to time I have been lonely. Keeping company with this gentleman was a delight. Since the expedition finished, we have kept in touch, as he occasionally visits London to attend social functions. He recently agreed to accompany me on a trip to visit my cousin in New York, and later to attend a party held by Massachusetts socialites, since he has long had an interest in America.
All this may sound perfectly wonderful, but I am fraught with anxiety; I feel that I have allowed myself to become far too enamoured for my own good. Being a lady some years beyond his age, and having, I am sorry to say, certain secrets which I do not know how to begin to explain to him, I fear to confess my feelings, for I am certain I should be rejected sooner or later, or at least that he should wish to reject me, and in the process I may lose our wonderful friendship as well.
I find myself getting upset at the most foolish things. I feel threatened when he is in the company of younger and more attractive ladies, although I know it is not my place to be possessive, as I have no claim on him. Sometimes I want simply to walk away and never see him again, but that thought pains me; and furthermore, it would be very difficult to accomplish, on account of the pressures of society.
If there is any way in which you might be able to advise me, I shall be eternally grateful. Forgive me for not signing this; I fear I have made myself too obvious already.
A loyal reader.
Mad Elf replies...
This is a problem which faces many people who confront danger together. There is an almost irresistible urge to jump into bed with the nearest person, in an attempt to reaffirm that they are alive. This is perfectly understandable, and in many ways is no bad thing.
Your affection for this gent appears to run much deeper, however. Because of this, I would strongly suggest that you do your utmost to be the best of friends, rather than run the risk of losing what you already have. I am not sure that he would not understand your particular situation, but it would be better to keep it hidden for as long as possible.
I foresee much danger in both your futures. You have made an enemy who, while not powerful in himself, has powerful connections, and other situations will doubtless arise. To survive you will need the tightest of bonds with all your companions, and those bonds will only become firmer as the situation worsens.
I am sure that you and your companion will soon become well-nigh inseparable, and will remain the best of friends for the rest of your lives. I feel safe in saying that this bond will not be weakened by any others that he may form: he will no doubt have lady-friends, and will probably marry eventually, but it will be you he turns to in times of difficulty. The only thing which could prevent this is your own reaction to such relationships. I cannot stress this enough: you must keep your jealousy under control, or it might ruin everything. In time, I am sure that you will come to realise the strength of your bond with him, and that other relationships are no threat to it. After all, they may hold his heart, but you will have his soul.