Musings & Rants

The "Road Trip" Model of Project Management

I was in a project meeting once, trying to explain to the manager why progress was delayed without using the phrase "because I've had two two-hour progress meetings in the last three days", when the first of these models occurred to me. So, never one to leave well alone, I worked out the rest of them...

The Whiny Kid Method

They think their job is a sophisticated version of sitting in the back seat and whining "are we nearly there yet?" every five minutes.

The Chauffeur-Driven Method

They sit in the back and don't talk to you unless they want you to pull over so they can take a leak, buy a drink, look at an interesting building or whatever. They chat constantly on their mobile phone when you're trying to ask them important questions like "Should we go through town or round the ring road?". They sleep through the last part of the journey, then blame you when you end up in the wrong place or take too long.

The Passenger-Seat Driver Method

They constantly yell about hazards you've already noticed, criticize your gear changes and clutch control (even though they can't drive), and in extreme cases seize the wheel themselves to steer past imagined obstructions.

The Co-Driver Method

They take care of the mobile phone, navigate, and talk to you when you need to keep awake. They hand you drinks and lit fags when you need them. They don't criticise your choice of music, and help you with the strategic decisions ("avoid the M6") while keeping out of the tactical ones (like lane-changes).

(I've made a lot of journeys with people like that, but only one project manager has even come close.)

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