Mad Elf's Problem Page

My friend isn't trying to kill me...

Dear Mr Arato the Mad Elf,

I have been serving friend computer for quite a while - over three months now, which is surprising in itself - but I have this worrying feeling that one of my fellow troubleshooters isn't trying to kill me. More than that, he seems to be actively trying to keep me alive. Is this treacherous?

It isn't so much this that worries me, as why he's doing it. Should I relax and enjoy it, or am I right to be worried?

Yours,

Jamm-Y-SOD (RKM sector)

Mad Elf replies...

First, please allow me to congratulate you on one of the longest troubleshooter careers I have ever encountered. Well done, Jamm! The computer is proud of you.

Now, to business. As far as I know, it isn't per se treason to keep a fellow troubleshooter alive, either by action or inaction. However, no-one would choose such a course without some ulterior motive, and as we all know, ulterior motives are almost certainly treason.

You must not relax. A relaxed troubleshooter won't notice the treason around him. Relaxation is for infra-reds and commies.

My best advice to you is to foil the plot of this treacherous companion of yours. As it apparently hinges on your continued existence, there is only one logical course to take.

Please report to the nearest termination booth.

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